A Day With God

9am-noon: Picnic with God
* 1 hour scripture reading
*1 hour "christian book" reading
*1 hour journaling
this would be at either Abilene state park or Fort phanton(its a lake). picnic basket, pinic food(my version anyway lol) and my scottish blanket.just me and God

noon-1pm: LUNCH

1-2pm: Community Service
*spend an hour picking up trash around campus. very simple.

2-3pm: Scripture Time!
*some more scripture. I'm not good at reading the bible, and I think for China, it's important to be in the habit of doing that because I wont really have a church or people to go to you know?

3-4pm: Panting time!
I want to paint some quotes on canvases...i was gonna just do ones I liked but there's no reason on my walls in my apartment, so I just had this idea while writing this to ask some of my friends what one of their fav bible verse is, put them on canvas, and give it to them? plus, i'm gonna paint something for my Dad's b-day in october. either a sunset, or the Dominican Republic Island( I cant draw or paint so this one problaly wont happen). just for fun...

4-whenever... Movie Time!!
*To Save a Life
*The Nativity Story
*Religilous(misspelled but you can problaly what I mean)
* Passion of the Christ

Emails That Uplifted Me

 This past spring when Pioneer Bible Translators(PBT) came to "recruit" at ACU, it sounded interesting so I signed up for their mailing list. the following emails I got a few days ago; the first one i got July 1, and the second one I got today, July 8. these emails meant a lot to me, because it reminded me that God does watch out for us and He never forgets about us. Sometimes He works through others to remind us of that, and I feel that He worked through these people at PBT to remind me that He hasn't forgotten about me, and also, I need prayers! the second one also meant a lot to me because its a small sign that God wants me to go to China.

Sign About My Praying

 Yesterday after church I went over to Books-A-Million after lunch(I went to Fessolis's). I was looking for a book that would inspire me. I dont know a better way to say it. I've been kinda out of it lately. again, no better way to say it. It's not that I am sad; I'm happy. my summer is going good, going by at a decent pace, slowly but not too slowly, my job is good, I have orientation to volunteer at Abilene Regional this wednesday, I have lots of "projects" to work on throughout the summer and I even have people to hang out with. so far, my summer might not be exciting but it's a good summer and my car makes all the difference. It was so worth it and I truly believe that God wanted me to be here this summer. anyway, still a bit out of it though. I get teary easily, I feel lonely(especially at night), and I had two dreams two nights in a row that left me feeling anxious and scared and panicky both during the dream and after I woke up. It feels like...like only God can make me feel better if that makes any sense. like something inside of me is dry and only God can water it. I can't explain it, but I guess what I am saying is that I am in need of something, comfort, inspiration,etc that only God can provide. I know that makes next to no sense, but I can't really explain it. So I went to Books-A-Million to find a book that....I dont know....called me me, that would help me get that inspiration, comfort,etc. I ended up buying two books: one is called "the kingdom of God inside of you" and it's about the power of God that lives inside of us, and how God can and does use us, and the second one is a book called "how to pray." for the month or two, I've felt this...almost craving and need to pray for Dan. nothing in specific, but just pray for him. and I do. I pray for him every single night before I go to sleep; I sometimes fall asleep praying for him. I dont know where this is coming from. sure I like him as more than a friend, but I liked Trevor as more than a friend and I never felt a need to pray like this for him, or Even Steele, or Anthony Soto,etc. so it makes me think that maybe it's something that God wants me to do? Due to this I want to learn more about praying. I know there is no right way to pray, but I want to learn more about it. I want praying to mean something more to me than just  "I talked to God, I feel better now." yes, that is a big part of it and I believe there's nothign wrong with feeling like that but I want praying to be more than that for me. I don't know exactly how to express this. I want my praying life to be...more...intimate, deeper...than just it making me feel better when I pray.does that make sense? problaly not, but some of these things are hard for me to find the words for, even in writing.  which is why I am excited about this book. it's not a book that just tells why praying is important. the author says that we already know praying is important. his focus is more "how to." not that there is a specific and right way to pray, but still, I want to learn more about praying and how I can pray effectively. if God wants me to pray for Dan, for myself, for others,etc then I want to do it in an effective way you know? a way that is deep and intimate and meaningful. so I bought these books, and I went to Brew.Net and started reading the introduction of the "how to pray" book. I found it really good and it got me excited to do this. I want my praying/talking to God life to improve you know? anyway, I then went back to my house for a few hours, then at 6:30pm I went over to the Green's for the campus ministry sunday night dinner and devo. and the guy that was speaking? what he talked about? praying. he talked about how Jesus prayed and how we rememeber jesus for a lot of things but not really because he prayed. I found it...intriguing and ironic that that was what he talked about, considering the book I had just bought and started reading and the choice I have made about improving my praying life. so it was like a little sign from God saying "this is something I want you to focus on and work on."

Wicca In The Military

This is  a Digital Scrapbook that I had to do for my World Religions course spring 2010 at ACU. I got 100 on it, so I am really proud of it plus the issue I picked to do it on(we had to do it on an issue facing a religion we talked about in class) really intrigued me. I hadn't even head of it until I started doing the research for this assignment but it is an important issue, I think.


Wicca in the Military Created on Friday, 04/30/2010 4:54 PM by Mildred Gonzalez

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgLyozVG-uQ

This short video was made by a Wiccan to inform Christians what Wicca really is and that it is not what Christians believe Wicca is. It informs the viewer of what Christians think Wicca is and then very clearly demonstrates how and why that stereotype is wrong. It doesn’t show anger, hostility, or judgment on Christians but simple informs them of what Wicca truly is. Before going on to the issue facing Wicca in the military, I think it’s important that we learn that our stereotypes of Wicca are not true. By learning the truth about Wicca, then we can look at the issue facing wiccans in the military without coming in with stereotypes that might influence us.

http://atheism.about.com/b/2004/08/18/wicca-in-us-military.htm

This is a link to an article on the website about.com that discusses the issue of Wiccans in the military. It’s not very detailed but I think it introduces the issues well.  Something that is mentioned here is that there was an incident (or attack) where US army personnel threw rocks and bottles at Wiccan servicemen and service women while they were worshipping. To me this so sad because the people who did this are serving in the army! They are fighting for their country, yet this religious intolerance is causing a division in within the army. As Jesus said “a house divided against itself cannot stand.” 

 http://www.witchvox.com/military/bobbarr.html

This link is to a website that presents information and updates on Wiccans in the military. The article talks about Bob Barr’s strong opposition to Wiccan practice and worship being allowed in the military. It is obviously given from the Wiccan’s point of view, and their argument is that Wiccan is a recognized legal religion in the USA and that his arguments are unconstitutional; “freedom of religion” applies to all religion.  This is essentially the wiccan’s  point of view  in the issue.

 http://blogs.ajc.com/bob-barr-blog/2010/02/17/pagan-worship-at-air-force-academy/

The above is a link to Bob Barr’s blog. This blog entry is short but it does make an interesting point. He says that he doesn’t necessarily believe that the Wiccan lifestyle does not mix with the military lifestyle, but that he does wonder how far tolerance should be taken. It makes us wonder what the line is in religion tolerance, if so where is it? Where do you draw the line when it comes to religion tolerance? I don’t have an answer and I doubt anyone really does. Still, concerning the issue of wiccans in the military, I believe that if Wiccan services and practices should be banned from military then all the other religion services and practices should be banned as well.  As the first commentary said, it is no more silly than the idea of Jesus coming down to earth, born of a virgin, being the son of God, turning water into wine. We believe it though, just like wiccans believe their beliefs. So if they are silly, so are we.  This is essentially the viewpoint of the man who started the opposition against wiccans in the military  in the first place.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/national/daily/june99/wicca08.htm

This is a link to an article that appeared in the Washington post. In this article both sides of the issues regarding wiccans in the military are presented. I have included this article because it is interesting that the military itself does not seem to have a problem with the wiccans. I also think it’s important to know that before the Open Circle came about, Wiccans in the military had to hide their beliefs. In a country where there is religious freedom, wiccans had to hide their beliefs! It says that wiccans and the army coexist peacefully. It seems as if the general displeasure is coming from military personnel (soldiers) and Christians especially. This article, to me, is kind of sad because in a way, some of our brothers and sisters in Christ are going after these wiccans with the same mentally in which Christians were once persecuted. Have we gone from being the prey to the hunter? Are we treating them the way we were treated so many centuries ago?

http:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBY99L4uG3U&feature=related//

This is a segment that appeared on the news about the issue of wiccans in the military. Both sides are represented and therefore it makes for a good way to bring all the arguments together. Show a Wiccan practice being conducted (or clips anyway) and they also show some protesters.  Wiccans and those who don’t believe Wiccan practices should be allowed in the military are interviewed and the way the newscast goes back and forth shows how each side gives it almost a debate-type feel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gq_cTS0k9Jg

this video is really good! It is a response to Bob barr’s blog(linked above). In this video counterarguments what barr says on his blog. It is done very effectively with words from the blog showing on the screen and then what the counterarguments after. It is an excellent video. I especially like the part where the videomaker  says(or writes)that tolerance does not mean you agree with, like, or believe in the religion but that you respect their consitituitional right to practice their religion.

Reflection

Doing research for this digital scrapbook was interesting because I was not aware of this issue at all; Now that I have done research on it I find it a very important issue. Looking at the videos and reading the article it is not hard to see how at the core of this issue is tolerance.  People who don’t want Wiccan practices in the military claim that religious tolerance granted by the constitution is being pushed too far. That this is a “religion” that is satanic, that casts spells, and is very much a pagan religion. They claim that it goes against America because America was founded on the belief of God, not tress, grass, etc.  The groups of people most against Wiccan practices in the military are none other than Christians. Conservative Christians, but Christians.   

It seems to me, while doing this digital scrapbook that the reason behind this opposition is that Wicca is so different from Christianity that it scares people. The wiccans are not worshipping the same God as us; their beliefs are not the same as ours, and their worshipping practices are widely different than ours. So I believe that this opposition stems from fear. Our fear of something that is different.   

While reading the articles I found it interesting that the army itself has no problems with wiccans. They coexist peacefully in the army. Yet people outside the army (and soldiers within the army) are the ones who are opposing this, claiming that religion tolerance has gone too far.  Yet the reality is that Wiccan practices are not harming anyone, no human sacrifices are being done, and it is causing no disruption in army life.  The article on the washing post link says that before the army allowed Wiccan practices wiccans had to hide their beliefs, pendants, etc. after negations, they compromised. They could do this, but not this, etc.  So if it is not disrupting army life, no one is being hurt, and they are still following army discipline, there is no logical reason for them not to practice.

What about religious tolerance though? Well, the issue within this issue is tolerance. And my opinion is that religious tolerance is slowly turning into “my religion tolerance.”  Seems like in the opposer’s mind in this issue, tolerance at best means that you agree with the religion, that you are a part of it, and at worse means that they only tolerate Christian religions.

To wrap this all together, Wiccan practice in the military are opposed by many, mostly Christian conservatives. Yet all the research I did on this issue shows that even though they are arguing tolerance has gone too far, it seems like some people are not taking tolerance far enough. 

Islam Call to Prayer

  We are learning about Islam in World Religions and today we began learning the "basics" so to speak. We watched this video on the Call to Prayer and it was...so beautiful that I teared up.Here's a link to the video we watched in class. I ask you to watch it; it's only a few minutes.
 Call to Prayer
 I think that call to prayer is so beautiful and inspiring. I found it beautiful because it sounds like singing. I  knew about the call to prayer and that Muslims prayed several times throughout the day. however, I thought that the call to prayer was exactly that: someone getting on that microphone/speaker and calling people to go pray. someone saying "prayer time, it is prayer time" or something to that effect. it was so inspiring to me to learn that they pray 5 times a day.click on the link below that says "Muslim prayer." it is a short demonstration of Muslim prayer. watch it; it is only a few minutes. they do that 5 times a day! at specific times during the day they pray. when the call to prayer happens,they stop whatever they are doing: cars pull over, shops close, etc. they drop everything and pray. what if we as Christians did that? what if we dropped everything at specific times during the day and prayed to God? I also admire them for not caring where they are when it is time for call to prayer. I sometimes feel a bit funny about praying in public, like in a restaurant or something, or even praying out loud for or with someone. they don't. I think these are two things we as Christians(at least myself personally)can learn from.
the last video "5 pillars of Islam" is just an "5 pillars" song. I found it really good.



5 Pillars of Islam

Muslim Prayer

Prayer Warrior

I decided that I am going to be a prayer warrior, and I am going to start by storming Heaven on Europe's behalf. I started tonight before the SBC send-off devo. I used the Prayer for Nations booklet that I got from Greater Europe Missions. I started with the UK, and it felt SO good to pray for them. I followed the prayer requests listen on the UK page of the booklet but not word for word. I am going to pray and pray for Europe until they can pray for themselves, then they can start praying for others, and maybe, in the end, we'll all become part of God's family. I am begginign to realize that the followers in Europe are part of our family, and they need us,and non-believers need to be prayer for! I realized tonight that I may not be strong physically, or mentally, or maybe even emotionally(i cannot hide my emotions!), and I may not be the smartest, most social, prettiest, beautiful,outgoing,etc. but I can be a prayer warrior, and I may or I may not end up as a missionary in Europe(although that is one of my passions-I SO want to go to Europe and be a missionary), but I can still storm Heaven on their behalf, praying for each nation to become engulfed in fire for Jesus.

Feeling God Next To Me

This past Sunday(March 7, 2010)Southern Hills had this "relationship talk" event for all the lifegroups. I knew that no matter what they said, it was gonna end up being about dating relationships. I was not gonna go. I did not want to go! I knew that all it would do would be to make me cry! 2 hours of being reminded with every word that I am not in a dating relationship, never have been and never will be at this rate because I must be missing that thing that makes a guy see you as more than just a friend. anyway, I had told my lifegroup I was not gonna go and why. they understood. anyways, I still couldnt shake the thought that I should go, and finally I realized that this was God telling me He wanted me to go. I argued with Him about it because I knew what would happen: I would be driven to sadness and tears upon tears. I ended up going. ONLY reason I went was because God told me to. I did not want to go, I knew that I would end up crying and upset. just like I predicted, I did cry. the tears started with the first question: "what are you looking for in a dating relationship?" I held out for a fee minutes, and then ran out to the auditorium and cried. I went back, and about 15-20 minutes later, ran out in tears again. the second time I was even more upset. I was crying and I was praying at the same time. I dont recall exactly what I was praying. I do remenber that I was talking about how I didnt understand why God wanted me to come, that it wasnt like it turned out to be this awesome talk that I was really glad God had me go to, but exactly what I knew it was going to be: a huge 2 hour painful reminder of my lack of a dating relationship and crying and crying. I remenber I said at some point: "God I knew you" or something along those lines.Anyway, the auditorium was dark so I got up and started walking around. I think I wanted to clean up any trash or something like that to take my mind off my pain and heart ache. and that's when I found it: on the floor by the side of one of the pews(the one I sit on I think). it was this green laminated card that had this "poem" made up of scriptures. it was God saying why He created her(to put it simply). it was...scary and amazing and beautiful and shocking and so many other things all at the same time. I felt like God was talking to me, like He was answering a question that I had asked without knowing it. For the first time, I had this...powerful feeling, I could FEEL God right there next to me. I know it sounds stupid, but it is the way I honestly felt. I want to write it on here, but I wont. one because it is kinda long and the main reason is because it feels like a letter that God wrote to me and I want to keep it to myself. God is so awesome and I hope and pray that He keeps bringing people and things that help me feel like that again.

Jesus & Apostles

I taughgt  in my lifegroup this past sunday(February 28,2010)and I wanted to show some YouTube clips of some of the stories in the Gospel of Mark chapters(3-4)that I was teaching on. I spent about 1-2, maybe 3hours looking up videos. I finally found two but I didnt get to show them but that's another story. anyway, during my search I found this awesome video with such an awesome and beautiful song:

Jesus & Apotles


I LOVE this song and this video together! I've heard the song before but I never realized it is not a romatic love song but a Jesus love song you know? the video also makes me think about how devasted the apostles must have been when Jesus was cruxified. for 3 years they had watched Him do these amazing increable miracles, from curing the sick to driving out demons, and listened to Him preach these amazing and new and ratical teachings...then He's cruxified. the man who drove out demons cruxified. plus, they abandoned Him,Peter denied Him, Judas was the one who bratrayed Jesus to the authorieties...and Jesus had known all this all along, and yet it never changed the way he loved them at all. that's kind of something to think about: what if you knew that someone was going to betray you...would it affect the way you love them or treat them? it is just an awesome video and everytime I think about, I think about how Jesus wanted to stay with us, but knew he had to leave. how must He have felt, knowing He was going to have to die in such a horrible way and leave His apostles and His followers? it is such a good video!

God Singing To Me

This is a song that I believe God led me to. He definetly wanted me to hear and listen to this song and take it to heart:

That's What Faith Can Do

I love this song! I've heard it before but I kinda wrote it off. I remember thinking: "hearts don't become brand new". It was thought out of bitterness and a bit of anger that I still have not met that right guy for me(or even had a guy like me as more than a friend).but then,they were playing it before HIP started(Wednesday, February 24,2010 at 7pm) at southern hills this past week and God  moved my heart and I really loved it. so I looked up the lyrics on-line(because I did not know what it was called) and then bought it on Itunes. I also looked up a video of it on YouTube and listened to it all night basically. When I heart it, I hear God singing this song to me. I hear Him saying:  

Millie, this is what loving me, trusting me and in me, following me, and living for me will do for you. this is what I want to do for you, what I am doing for you. always have and always will.

I know, not exactly super serious, but maybe I should stop comparing my relationship with God to everyone else's. I love this song because I am always being rejected by guys in a romantic way, I feel lonely a lot and sometimes it feels like everyone else is racing ahead and I am behind. this song reminds me that God has a reason for it, and all those things I have a desire for, they are there for a reason. Satan might twist them into something designed to hurt me and to hurt others and to hurt God, but God doesnt put something on you without a reason, a plan for it. I guess what I am saying is that this song is God telling me what He can and will and is doing for me. 

so take a listen to it again, and listen to what God might be telling you through this song. love you!

Millie at the Burning Bush

At church  we have been doing this 6 week series entitled "let's go fish." it's all about how God sends us out to be fishers of men and bring people to Jesus so Jesus can bring them to God the Father. on Wednesday, the preacher was talking to us about Moses and how when God called Him to lead Israelite out of Egypt Moses was not confident at all in Himself. He asked God: what if they don't believe you send me, what if they ask me for proof, i am not a good speaker,etc. The point of the sermon was to let us know that when God calls us, He will(just like He told Moses)be with us. God doesn't call us to do something and not go with us, or not gives us what we need to do it. 

I've been feeling ever since last Sunday that God is calling  me to do missions after I graduate next year. On Sunday, when the preacher(Phil)started speaking I remember thinking: "I should pay attention to this. this has to do with missions and that is what I want to do." now, giving the nature of the series(being fishers of men)it is normal to think about missions, but that exact thought: "this is what i want to do"came out of nowhere almost. sure i have thought about missions a few times but I am not the type to be a missionary! i am quiet, shy, soft spoken, I have not memorized any scriptures in bible, i did not grow up going to church(at all!!),I am not a missions major-or a bible major at all! i was but i couldnt afford the extra 2 years it would take to graduate,although i am a bible minor. point is, I am not like Brent Bailey, who would make an awesome missionary: he's smart, grew up in the church, is a bible major, and knows the bible really well and has lots of leadership experience. i don't, because no one ever gives me the chance but that is another blog post altogether! LOL. point is, I am not the type to be a missionary but I can't shake the feeling that this is right. my major(international studies)has to do with missions, my plans for after graduation(teaching esl in china, CIO program in England,etc) are all in the missions field. not middle of nowhere missions but missions. and my ideal job: a job that requires me to live abroad(not traveling abroad but living abroad), and a job that involves lots and lots of  people interaction , and a job that allows me to help people see Jesus and talk to them about Him if they are willing. a job that lets me write is a bonus, not a requirement and in missions keeping a written journal/blog would be encouraged i should think. i just did not know what that job was, if it even existed. and on Sunday, it felt like...like i had had the pieces of the puzzle, but did not know what the picture was supposed to be. like God showed me the whole picture and now the pieces make sense. like i could see myself doing something but the picture was blurry and out of focus, and now...it is a bit clearer. i can make out shapes and colors and actions.

still, like Moses, I am a bit hesitant(although i am moving ahead with missions). i feel like  it shouldn't be me you know?like Moses must have felt. 

i am going to see if I can talk to someone at Southern Hills about it.