God Singing To Me

This is a song that I believe God led me to. He definetly wanted me to hear and listen to this song and take it to heart:

That's What Faith Can Do

I love this song! I've heard it before but I kinda wrote it off. I remember thinking: "hearts don't become brand new". It was thought out of bitterness and a bit of anger that I still have not met that right guy for me(or even had a guy like me as more than a friend).but then,they were playing it before HIP started(Wednesday, February 24,2010 at 7pm) at southern hills this past week and God  moved my heart and I really loved it. so I looked up the lyrics on-line(because I did not know what it was called) and then bought it on Itunes. I also looked up a video of it on YouTube and listened to it all night basically. When I heart it, I hear God singing this song to me. I hear Him saying:  

Millie, this is what loving me, trusting me and in me, following me, and living for me will do for you. this is what I want to do for you, what I am doing for you. always have and always will.

I know, not exactly super serious, but maybe I should stop comparing my relationship with God to everyone else's. I love this song because I am always being rejected by guys in a romantic way, I feel lonely a lot and sometimes it feels like everyone else is racing ahead and I am behind. this song reminds me that God has a reason for it, and all those things I have a desire for, they are there for a reason. Satan might twist them into something designed to hurt me and to hurt others and to hurt God, but God doesnt put something on you without a reason, a plan for it. I guess what I am saying is that this song is God telling me what He can and will and is doing for me. 

so take a listen to it again, and listen to what God might be telling you through this song. love you!

Millie at the Burning Bush

At church  we have been doing this 6 week series entitled "let's go fish." it's all about how God sends us out to be fishers of men and bring people to Jesus so Jesus can bring them to God the Father. on Wednesday, the preacher was talking to us about Moses and how when God called Him to lead Israelite out of Egypt Moses was not confident at all in Himself. He asked God: what if they don't believe you send me, what if they ask me for proof, i am not a good speaker,etc. The point of the sermon was to let us know that when God calls us, He will(just like He told Moses)be with us. God doesn't call us to do something and not go with us, or not gives us what we need to do it. 

I've been feeling ever since last Sunday that God is calling  me to do missions after I graduate next year. On Sunday, when the preacher(Phil)started speaking I remember thinking: "I should pay attention to this. this has to do with missions and that is what I want to do." now, giving the nature of the series(being fishers of men)it is normal to think about missions, but that exact thought: "this is what i want to do"came out of nowhere almost. sure i have thought about missions a few times but I am not the type to be a missionary! i am quiet, shy, soft spoken, I have not memorized any scriptures in bible, i did not grow up going to church(at all!!),I am not a missions major-or a bible major at all! i was but i couldnt afford the extra 2 years it would take to graduate,although i am a bible minor. point is, I am not like Brent Bailey, who would make an awesome missionary: he's smart, grew up in the church, is a bible major, and knows the bible really well and has lots of leadership experience. i don't, because no one ever gives me the chance but that is another blog post altogether! LOL. point is, I am not the type to be a missionary but I can't shake the feeling that this is right. my major(international studies)has to do with missions, my plans for after graduation(teaching esl in china, CIO program in England,etc) are all in the missions field. not middle of nowhere missions but missions. and my ideal job: a job that requires me to live abroad(not traveling abroad but living abroad), and a job that involves lots and lots of  people interaction , and a job that allows me to help people see Jesus and talk to them about Him if they are willing. a job that lets me write is a bonus, not a requirement and in missions keeping a written journal/blog would be encouraged i should think. i just did not know what that job was, if it even existed. and on Sunday, it felt like...like i had had the pieces of the puzzle, but did not know what the picture was supposed to be. like God showed me the whole picture and now the pieces make sense. like i could see myself doing something but the picture was blurry and out of focus, and now...it is a bit clearer. i can make out shapes and colors and actions.

still, like Moses, I am a bit hesitant(although i am moving ahead with missions). i feel like  it shouldn't be me you know?like Moses must have felt. 

i am going to see if I can talk to someone at Southern Hills about it.