Feeling God Next To Me

This past Sunday(March 7, 2010)Southern Hills had this "relationship talk" event for all the lifegroups. I knew that no matter what they said, it was gonna end up being about dating relationships. I was not gonna go. I did not want to go! I knew that all it would do would be to make me cry! 2 hours of being reminded with every word that I am not in a dating relationship, never have been and never will be at this rate because I must be missing that thing that makes a guy see you as more than just a friend. anyway, I had told my lifegroup I was not gonna go and why. they understood. anyways, I still couldnt shake the thought that I should go, and finally I realized that this was God telling me He wanted me to go. I argued with Him about it because I knew what would happen: I would be driven to sadness and tears upon tears. I ended up going. ONLY reason I went was because God told me to. I did not want to go, I knew that I would end up crying and upset. just like I predicted, I did cry. the tears started with the first question: "what are you looking for in a dating relationship?" I held out for a fee minutes, and then ran out to the auditorium and cried. I went back, and about 15-20 minutes later, ran out in tears again. the second time I was even more upset. I was crying and I was praying at the same time. I dont recall exactly what I was praying. I do remenber that I was talking about how I didnt understand why God wanted me to come, that it wasnt like it turned out to be this awesome talk that I was really glad God had me go to, but exactly what I knew it was going to be: a huge 2 hour painful reminder of my lack of a dating relationship and crying and crying. I remenber I said at some point: "God I knew you" or something along those lines.Anyway, the auditorium was dark so I got up and started walking around. I think I wanted to clean up any trash or something like that to take my mind off my pain and heart ache. and that's when I found it: on the floor by the side of one of the pews(the one I sit on I think). it was this green laminated card that had this "poem" made up of scriptures. it was God saying why He created her(to put it simply). it was...scary and amazing and beautiful and shocking and so many other things all at the same time. I felt like God was talking to me, like He was answering a question that I had asked without knowing it. For the first time, I had this...powerful feeling, I could FEEL God right there next to me. I know it sounds stupid, but it is the way I honestly felt. I want to write it on here, but I wont. one because it is kinda long and the main reason is because it feels like a letter that God wrote to me and I want to keep it to myself. God is so awesome and I hope and pray that He keeps bringing people and things that help me feel like that again.